Lisa becomes friends with Fat Tony's son Michael, who would rather cook than run a crime ring, but when the Simpsons are invited over for dinner and Fat Tony is shot, Homer ends up being the town's newest kingpin.

Guest Stars: Joe Mantegna, Joe Pantoliano, Michael Imperioli, and Metallica.

Bart gets a drum kit to work out his aggression after being a nuisance at the funeral of Homer's Vegas wife and becomes top pick for a local jazz band -- a position that the saxophone-playing Lisa has been going after for years. Meanwhile, Lisa begins adopting abandoned animals.

Guest Stars: The White Stripes.

Marge takes an interest in carpentry after reading some books on the subject meant for Homer, but when everyone in town declines Marge's services (because they believe that women cannot be carpenters), Marge uses Homer as a front. Meanwhile, Bart discovers that Principal Skinner is allergic to peanuts and uses his allergy as leverage to make Skinner do his bidding.

Season 18's annual trio of Halloween stories.
"Married to the Blob" - Homer eats a mysterious green substance from a meteorite landing that turns him into a giant blob with an insatiable, cannibalistic appetite.
"You Gotta Know When to Golem" - Bart discovers a golem backstage at Krusty's show and uses it to do his bidding.
"The Day the Earth Looked Stupid" - After being fooled by H.G. Wells' War of the Worlds, the citizens of Springfield in 1938 ignore a real alien invasion set up by Kang and Kodos.

Guest Stars: Dr. Phil, Richard Lewis, Fran Drescher, Sir Mix-a-Lot, Marcia Wallace and Maurice LaMarche.

Homer finds himself in an army training camp after trying to get his children out of an agreement to join by age 18.

Guest Star: Kiefer Sutherland.

Lisa discovers that Moe's written rantings are perfect fodder for poetry, but when Moe is invited to a writer's convention, he takes credit for her work.

Guest Stars: Tom Wolfe, Gore Vidal, Michael Chabon, Jonathan Franzen and J.K. Simmons.

Homer gets fired once again from the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant, and he takes over Springfield's ice cream truck business after his favorite driver dies. Meanwhile, Marge, depressed over seeing women more successful than her and looking for a way to be remembered, creates sculptures from the discarded Popsicle sticks in Homer's ice cream truck.

Bart becomes Nelson's best friend, and discovers how possessive Nelson can be. Meanwhile, Homer gets hooked on Lisa's Angelica Button fantasy novels, but worries when he finds out that the book he is reading has a sad ending and tries to hide it from Lisa.

After Gil Gunderson gives Lisa a Malibu Stacy doll reserved for Mr. Costington's daughter, he gets fired as a mall Santa and moves in with the Simpsons. Meanwhile, Homer picks a fight with Ice Capades character The Grumple.

Guest Star: Elvis Stojko.

When Patty and Selma save "Outdoor Movie Night" from going bust by playing an old home movie of their time at Barnacle Bay, Homer decides to surprise Marge by taking her and the kids there -- only to find her childhood vacation spot an abandoned wreck.

Guest Stars: Maurice LaMarche and Sab Shimono.

Homer's misguided revenge on the Rich Texan combined with an untimely car breakdown leaves Marge, Lisa, and Bart to tell three tales about revenge gone wrong.
"The Count of Monte Fatso": In 19th century France, Moe (Fernand) breaks up the marriage of Homer (Edmond Dantés) and Marge (Mercedes); for this, Homer swears revenge, now in a French prison.^[23]
"Revenge of the Geeks": Milhouse uses The Getbackinator, an ultra technologic weapon made by Martin, for fight back against the school bullies and the consequences when he goes too far.^[23]
"Bartman Begins": After Homer (Thomas) and Marge (Martha Wayne) are killed by Snake Jailbird (Joe Chill) in a dark alley, Bart (Bruce Wayne) swears revenge with a superhero alter ego, Bartman.

When Cletus ineptly tosses his pipe, Springfield is in danger when the town is about to be hit by a ferocious fire. Bart unwittingly saves the day and is rewarded with a driver's license. However, when he drives to North Haverbrook, he is then engaged with a girl named Darcy who ropes Bart into marriage after declaring that she is pregnant. Meanwhile, Lisa lies about her family heritage in an essay and gets chosen to give a keynote speech at a convention.

Guest star: Natalie Portman.

Declan Desmond returns as he shows a documentary about Springfield's current adult population as children, discussing their future aspirations and meeting up with Homer to see if he followed his dreams.

Guest star: Eric Idle.

Lisa becomes a tutor for Cletus Spuckler's children after Principal Skinner bars them from enrolling in Springfield Elementary. Meanwhile, Bart ends up in therapy after scaring his peers with stories of a school chef notorious for cooking children.

Guest stars: Peter Bogdanovich, Andy Dick, James Patterson, Meg Ryan, and Stephen Sondheim.

When Grampa gets kicked out of the retirement castle thanks to Homer declaring bankruptcy (and discovering that bankruptcy laws have changed), Grampa falls in love with Marge's sister Selma, prompting sworn enemies Homer and Patty to team up to break them up. Meanwhile, Bart and Lisa con a delivery man into giving them cardboard boxes for a fort, but the delivery men fight back.

Guest star: Jane Kaczmarek.

After the family photo album is destroyed in a fire involving a Krusty doll and a bottle of cologne, Marge restages all of the family's photographs, and when a celebrity dating scandal is captured in the background of one of their photos, the Simpsons strike tabloid gold. Tasting success and seeing money to be made, Homer takes to the streets as one of the paparazzi, capturing Springfield's celebrities at their worst.

Guest stars: J.K. Simmons, Betty White and Jon Lovitz.

Marge discovers the wonders of the Internet and becomes hooked on an online roleplaying game, where Bart is the game master. Meanwhile, Lisa resorts to cheating to score points with Homer (who is now a referee) during soccer matches.

Guest star: Ronaldo

Bart becomes a town pariah after losing the championship for Springfield's Little League team, and is driven insane to the point of suicide from constant harassment. Meanwhile, Homer gets a job at Costington's Department store as a mattress tester, and finds a mattress that he wants to keep for himself after it reignites his stagnant love life with Marge.

When reading a parenting magazine, Marge follows the advice too literally and throws away Maggie's pacifier. However, when the pacifier is thrown in the trash, Maggie goes on a path of destruction in the Simpsons' home. Meanwhile, Homer, Moe, Apu, and Principal Skinner become volunteer firefighters and begin stealing items from the homes whose fires they extinguish.

When Homer gets lost in a cornfield maze, Santa's Little Helper rescues him and becomes a local hero, which prompts the Simpson family to enroll him in Police Dog Academy, where he dons a new and more stern personality. However, he becomes jaded when he catches Snake Jailbird, who is released on a technicality, and bites Bart, causing the family to give him away. Meanwhile, Bart, missing Santa's Little Helper, gets a strangling snake as a new pet.

Guest stars: Stephen Hawking, Maurice LaMarche, and Rudolph Giuliani (in a deleted scene that would later be reinstated in syndicated airings).

When finding out Jimbo, Dolph, and Kearney plan on sabotaging Springfield Elementary School's annual bake sale by releasing the "ultimate stink bomb" (a rotten yogurt cup from Springfield's Nuclear Power Plant), Bart and Lisa enlist the help of Jack Bauer and Chloe O'Brian. Meanwhile, Marge attempts to make the perfect cake for the school bake sale.

Guest stars: Kiefer Sutherland and Mary Lynn Rajskub.

Due to Ned Flanders' meddling, Kent Brockman gets in trouble for blurting a horrible curse word during a soft-news interview about Homer winning Phineas Q. Butterfat's 1,000,000th ice cream cone, and gets fired for allegedly being a cocaine addict. While living with the Simpsons, Brockman teams up with Lisa to create a YouTube video revealing why a politically conservative media empire like Fox would create raunchy television shows.

Guest stars: Ludacris and Maurice LaMarche.

• This is the show's 400th episode.