When Clyde's mother dies after falling in the toilet (due to Clyde leaving the toilet seat up), the government hires TSA agents to patrol anyone and everyone who goes to the bathroom with a belt attached to the toilet. Meanwhile, Stan convinces Clyde to sue the inventor of the toilet, so he employs a lawyer who conducts a sueance (séance) that will allow this to happen.

Cartman launches a gemstones network show and creates a very lucrative business. Stan searches for the real value of a piece of jewelry that was a gift from his grandfather. Meanwhile, Cartman's lucrative new business preys upon an extremely vulnerable clientele.

The boys get into meme photography, but become discouraged and conflicted after learning that the meme they tried to perform at the Republican National Convention has been supplanted in popularity by newer ones, including one that leads investigators to believe that cats are evolving in intelligence and have become a threat to humanity.

South Park's big Easter egg hunt is in jeopardy when Cartman spreads rumors of a dangerous beast lurking in the woods nearby, but Cartman finds that spreading these ideas may come to endanger him.

Stan wants to raise awareness about the dangers of bullying by shooting an anti-bullying video, while Butters falls victim to his grandmother's extremely cruel abuse.

The boys spend the day in the Colorado Mountains learning how to zipline, which turns into a fight for survival as they find ziplining so boring that it proves fatal.

When a new black girl named Nichole comes to South Park Elementary, Cartman, thinking that blacks belong together, tries to play matchmaker with her and Token. When he learns that the girl has a crush on Kyle, Cartman spreads a rumor about Kyle in order to maneuver Token and Nichole together.

Randy's sarcastic protests over attempts to make football safer leads to the creation of a new sport, Sarcastaball, and an unusual tactic on the part of Butters to improve the South Park team's morale.

Cartman finally realizes he is fat and decides to do something about it: get a mobility scooter. With so many fat people on scooter chairs and Honey Boo Boo being a TV star, James Cameron believes the societal bar has been lowered too much, so he goes on a deep sea expedition to find the bar and raise it.

After Ike witnesses his parents engaging in sexual roleplay, the men in the town come to believe that their wives are sleeping with UPS delivery men. Meanwhile, Cartman gets a security system for his house, but it is angered by the nonchalant responses of the agents who respond to its alerts.

When Butters starts becoming extremely aggressive and rude, his parents tell him that he is a native Hawaiian, and must journey to that island to take part in an adolescent rite of passage. When he goes there with Kenny, he becomes embroiled in a conflict between the Hawaiians and the mainland U.S.

In this parody of The Shining, Randy buys a Blockbuster Video store in the hopes of reviving the video rental business, but the obsolete business drives him mad. Meanwhile, the boys, dressed as the Avengers (including an in absentia Stan using his iPad's FaceTime) go trick or treating, and come face to face with a gang of serial killers.

When the public comes to believe that Jesus performed his miracles because he was using drugs, they cease wearing their "What would Jesus do?" wristbands, but Stan controversially refuses to take off his bracelet, which leads to both criticism and the creation of a new movement dedicated to nonconformity.

Eric Cartman hides swing state ballots from the 2012 U.S. Presidential election, in a plot that involves Barack Obama, the Chinese government, the Walt Disney Company and the future of both the election and upcoming Star Wars sequels.