No Sex Please, We're British is a 1973 British comedy film directed by Cliff Owen, and starring Ronnie Corbett, Ian Ogilvy, Susan Penhaligon, and Arthur Lowe. It was based on the 1971 play No Sex Please, We're British, with multiple changes in the film adaptation.

Runnicles, a clerk in a small-town British bank (openly depicted in the film as the branch of Barclays Bank in Windsor High Street),^[1][2] is horrified when a package arrives containing pornography, rather than the new calculator he expected. His efforts to dispose of it, while avoiding detection, turn into a farcical series of events involving a bank inspector, the police, and a local criminal to whom the pornography actually belongs.

• Ronnie Corbett – Brian Runnicles
• Ian Ogilvy – David Hunter
• Susan Penhaligon – Penny Hunter
• Beryl Reid – Bertha Hunter
• Arthur Lowe – Mr Bromley
• Michael Bates – Mr Needham
• Cheryl Hall – Daphne Martin
• David Swift – Inspector Paul
• Deryck Guyler – Park keeper
• Valerie Leon – Susan
• Margaret Nolan – Barbara
• Gerald Sim – Reverend Mower
• John Bindon – Pete
• Stephen Greif – Niko
• Michael Robbins – Car driver
• Frank Thornton – Glass Shop Manager
• Michael Ripper – Traffic warden
• Lloyd Lamble – American man
• Mavis Villiers – American lady
• Sydney Bromley – Rag & Bone Man
• Brian Wilde – Policeman in park
• Eric Longworth – Man with Lighter
• Edward Sinclair – Postman
• Fred Griffiths as Delivery Man
• Lucy Griffiths as Spinster Lady
• Robin Askwith – Baker's delivery man

Writing in 1979, at the time of the American release, The New York Times reviewer commented: "In its own way, it is well done ... (with) its simple-minded and by now rather outdated double and triple entendres."^[3]

TV Guide said: "A pleasing performance from Corbett ... saves this otherwise average British farce from the usual doldrums."^[4]